Dirty jokes.

Before to go on, I'm apologies from everyone on being dirty, Those jokes aren't mine anyway, And i sorry if they are bother you. I put them here only for fun.

Amish woman and daughter
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."
The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said, "My hands are freezing cold."
The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will
warm them up." He did, and warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up." He did, and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother
again, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"
Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost,
don't they!" <LOOL WHATEVER!

Some stupid OLD Pirate joke
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants.
The Bartender asks, "whats with the wheel?"
The pirate says, "Ar! It drives me nuts!" < I DON'T GET IT -_-"

Science Rocks
Sixth grade science teacher Mr. Sampson asks his class: "Who can tell me
which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"

Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way.

"Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times
its usual size when stimulated?"

Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "Sir, how dare you ask such a question?
I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal,
who will have you fired!"

Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. He asked the class
the question again and this time Sam raised his hand. "Yes, Sam?"

"Mr. Sampson, Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye."

"Very good, Sam. Thank you."

Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have three things to
tell you:

First, it's clear that you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a
dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly
disappointed." <Hidden humor

Daughters are curious~~~
A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.

Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"

Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.

Without them we wouldn't be here."

Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"
Copyright; Contains material from
Elf-Town

Thats it for now, Enjoy!